Get to know Autisticly Aar

Pronouns: They/Them/Theirs

Aar Jae Williams or known as Autisticly Aar is a podcaster and content creator in Southern Wales in the United Kingdom. Diagnosed with dyspraxia at the age of 6-7 years old then general anxiety disorder at the age of nine then Autism diagnosed under the label of Asperger’s Syndrome only later on to learn the impact of the words origin.

With my diagnoses being latter years of primary school and of something then considered in the societal ableist view of autism then as ‘high functioning’ I masked my autism and dyspraxia throughout school though had potentially noticeable traits to my peers of my neurodivergent conditions whether that be struggles with hand-writing, physical activities that demanded co-ordination from sports to tasks seem more as expected to know like tie-ing shoe laces to difficulties using scissors and maths compasses. Being at times messy and disorganised. But I sometimes could either be shy or chatty, tired and exhausted, not as interested in socialising out of school with my peers or seem as interested or engaged in social situations as my peers.

Though in school and through to sixth form I had support for my learning difficulty dyspraxia and my autism whether that would be extra time in exams, a learning support assistant in lessons with me, time to leave lessons early in comprehensive school to avoid the busy stairwells, extra time on exams and sit it in a quiet room. I still with support masked, didn’t know as much as I wish I knew about my mind and how it works and how to understand myself which in late teens started a journey unmasking and untangling my lack of knowledge of someone who masked in a mainstream environment with few out autistic people. It meant I had to come out as being autistic.

Part of starting this channel and becoming persistantly more active within the neurodivergent community online has helped me understand and reassure me about things I wish I knew when I was younger so much so influenced starting my own podcast which was of course a daunting challenge to taken on I never had full indepth conversations with other neurodivergent people where I could find like minded people that made things difficult without like minded people. From when I came out and started talking about my neurodivergent self thats when I started my on-going path in unmasking which I’m still on and finding how to be comfortable with myself on the outside. It’s not easy thing when you masked for a long time and have general anxiety. I’ve now learnt a lot more about my autism and want more people to have the space to know about and learn about their neurodivergent self and trying to ensure others haven’t got to live with the same challenges that people like myself have.

I’m currently unemployed like approximately 85% of the autistic community. From what I learnt about neurodivergency is that I possibly have ADHD I would self-identify as to I really struggle with memory and attention but don’t present in the typical way and feel in a state of chaos. Learning about my autism and autism I learnt, whilst I’m proud to be autistic and finding pride in who I am I learnt how it really affects me and the challenges of how I struggle with personal admin, staying away from my home and going out outside of my village by myself. But as this is a space where I like to explore other peoples stories and chat to them in their experiences because it makes them less alone. I hope that this space can help me be me. I want for people to be safe to unmask and be their neurodivergent self and that don’t feel like an outcast but feel included and be part of change and something bigger and thats what see my ambitions.

From what I started in a depressive and long-term burnout of what felt like an overwhelming tsunami of change starting university in my neighbouring city felt. Even though, I was living and commuting from home with arranged transport from DSA (Disability Support Allowance) with support delayed in getting into place with an assessment only happening when my term started and had to try to navigate the world of studying reading big amounts of work, essay writing in a new way, a new environment which for senses was challenging. Adjusting to change felt it was hard with seasonal changes as the days get darker more wet and rainy lights get brighter, rooms with new people that I don’t know. I find myself having meltdowns and feeling utterly exhausted and leading to my first burnout. I only lasted at university of doing five proper weeks before signing off on mental health leave before the coronavirus pandemic and went on a two year hiatus which I found my non-binary, asexual and aromantic identitiesSince then it’s been a challenging time but I might’ve not had started the podcast in 2020 that ran for a series of weeks before another period of anxiety, distraction and bit of neurodivergent chaos that this project only got going properly last October and now up to 30 more episodes and brimming for more ideas.

Overtime I will tell you’ll get to know me more.